Most mother-in-laws have good intentions. They can be overbearing sometimes by getting too involved in the family’s life. What many mother-in-laws don’t let go of is the fact that their son or daughter is grown, is an adult and can make decisions on their own. They have to make a few mistakes along the way to learn and their happiness is all that should matter.
Compare Spouses to Past Love Interests
Mothers-in-law tend to reflect on past love interests of their children, comparing them to the current spouse. This is a really bad idea. Relationships are private and it is not the parents’ business to know why a relationship ended. It is best to just be happy for your child and let them live their life with their spouse.
Say that the Spouse is Not Good Enough
To put it quite simply, no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. That does not mean that someone is not good enough for your son or daughter. Now, if there is illegal or abusive activity going on, that is a different story. If you simply think that someone doesn’t work hard enough, doesn’t make enough money or something similar, quite frankly, that is not the business of a mother-in-law to know.
Insulting the Spouse in any way
The very last thing you ever want to do is insult your child’s spouse. This drives a barrier between all of you and breeds a lot of hostility. It can wedge a gap between you and your child for a long period of time. This is one of those times when mothers-in-law should just not speak and keep their thoughts to themselves.
Interfering with Financial Decisions
Unless the couple comes to you, it is no one else’s business what their finances look like. There may be times when the couple will discuss a financial decision or even troubles with their parents. This is the time when a mother-in-law should be supportive and offer ideas to help the situation. It does not mean that the couple is asking for money or anything like that, it simply means that they want advice.
Interfering with Raising Children
Every parent has their own approach to raising children. When mothers-in-law interfere, it brings hostility to the family dynamic. It is best to let your children raise their children from what they observed and experienced. Your methods may not work in a new generation. Step back and let the couple come to you if they need parenting advice.
Mother-in-laws tend to want to be more involved in their children’s adult lives than they should be. Bounds are overstepped and words are said that shouldn’t be. It is hard for a parent to watch her child raise a family without wanting to step in at every moment. This is where the harsh realization that your children are grown, they have families of their own and it’s time for you to let them raise those families. Once our children have families of their own, enjoy life, relax and be happy knowing that you were a great parent.