Dating as a single mom can be hard, especially if you had been with your kid’s dad for an extended amount of time. Also, being a mom it can be hard to find the time to even have any type of personal life, not to mention in the early months you can’t introduce your new partner to your kids in the first place, as you have to make sure they are in it for the long term. Therefore, today I decided to write a post that displays the mindsets to avoid when you are dating as a single mom.
See Also: Things to Expect When Dating as a Single Parent
You Don’t Have to Be Unhappy
As moms, it’s easy to always put our children first and think they we don’t deserve happiness until they are off to college (for some even longer). This is not a good mindset to have. Moms are humans too and we deserve to be happy. Dating doesn’t make you a bad mom and it also doesn’t mean that you are out seeking a replacement “daddy” for your kids.
You’re Not Ruined
Just because you have kids it doesn’t mean that you are ruined. I made this mistake and it took me a long time to get into the dating game again because I assumed asking someone to accept my three kids would be entirely too much baggage. I wondered who would want to be with a female who has three kids with another man. This is not a good mindset to have as it will leave you being bitter inside and ultimately unhappy.
You Won’t Find Someone Who Accepts Your Kids
While it is challenging to find someone who understands that your kids always have to come first, it is not impossible. You just have to be upfront when even considering someone as a potential mate. I really messed up something with someone I love, who loves kids, and accepted all three of my boys because of insecure feelings of thinking it was no way possible that he could really accept that I had three kids and stick around for the long term. Not only did I end up hurting myself, but I ended up hurting him too and that was the last thing that I wanted to do.
Overall, as a single mom, it is okay to date. Yes, it is true some men are against dating single moms, not all are. If you’re ready to jump into the dating game don’t let society discourage you into getting into a negative mindset about why you shouldn’t do it.
Have you found love as a single mom? Feel free to share your story in the comments section below.