How to Get the Spark Back in Your Relationship

Do you feel as if your relationship has lost something?

Look, relationships wax and wane as often as the moon. It’s impossible to maintain the same intensity you had when you first met. Firstly, take the pressure off trying to feel deeply in love all the time.

Instead, think about how you can get that spark back in your relationship. Here are some tips on how to do it.

Start Focusing on Your Partner

A major red flag is a lack of focus. One study revealed that 51% of partners said their partners are often or sometimes distracted during a conversation because of their cellphones. You can’t maintain a relationship when you’re not giving them the time and attention they deserve.

Countless relationships have died due to partners not giving each other the time and attention they deserve.

Take an honest look at whether you’re spending enough quality time together.

Do Something New

If your relationship consists of nothing more than going to work, coming home, and sitting in front of the TV it’s only natural that you’ll eventually lose the spark.

At some point, you must spice things up a bit and indulge in a shared experience. It can be anything from checking out a new restaurant to visiting some exotic destination on the other side of the world.

Touch More

It’s not uncommon for partners to only touch each other affectionately when they’re ready for sex. Kiss more, hug more, touch more throughout your daily lives. Research shows it boosts endorphins and reduces the levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

In this era of social distancing, a lack of an affectionate, reassuring touch can really extinguish the spark in a relationship.

Change Up Your Sex Life

Sex is always a major part of any relationship. However, it’s easy to get into the same rhythm and the will to experiment drains out of the relationship. Experimenting in the bedroom can rekindle that flame.

Struggling to think about something new?

Invest in some toys to spice up your sex life. Options like a rabbit vibrator, leather, costumes, and flavored condoms can add a new dimension to your sex life.

Talk About It

Finally, sometimes you just need to talk about it. If communication in your relationship has turned into exclusively reading between the lines, it’s time to be honest with each other. What are you both lacking? What would you like to change? What do you appreciate about each other?

Sometimes talking can be the greatest medication there is.


Fixing a limp relationship takes time and work from both sides. Commit to rekindling that spark and you might be surprised at how much excitement and energy you can extract from even the longest of relationships.

Of course, there are no guarantees with anything in life. A lack of spark may not be simply boredom. It could be a sign of more serious, underlying problems. If so, don’t be afraid to consider couples therapy.

James Farner

James Farner is an author who has been writing professionally for eight years. For four of those years, he has been traveling full-time. So far he has visited 63 countries on five continents.

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